Mood: calm for once
Music: (turns music on)...The Long and Winding Road- The Beatles... there we are...

Today was... well.... I can safely say that it has been packed with so much emotion that I'm surprised im not either excessively hyper or bawling right now... here's a recap of the past few days...

Monday- our first dress rehearsal with costumes, make-up, the works.... We totally sucked in the first act. Nothing was going right at all and no one thought there was any hope for us. we kinda got our act together, though, in the 2nd act and it was good enough to gove us Some hope...
Tuesday- This one was better... we could see things coming together, and although we had faults and revisions to make... we felt pretty good, that being our very last rehearsal and all
Wednesday- Oh, our sacred Dark day: How i Love thee! I was tired all day, as was everyone else, I can imagine, but I managed to get through school and piano lessons and have a nice night at home.....
Thursday- The Big Night. I wasn't way too nervous for the whole thing... I just got really jittery and stuff... our performance was good though and the crowd was one of the best ever. It was wierd afterwards...I don't really know what i was feeling... the car ride home was so silent and I began questioning EVERYTHING... I didn't know what to think or feel, just had to be left alone.. sleep came very easily but did not stay with me long enough.
Friday- Again, everyone was Exhausted, but the day was good and I think the performance was even better... except for adam saying 'conrad'.. what a moron... Kiplee's was sooo much fun after- I soon was reminded of Megan's gambling problem and got a lot of hilarity out of that

Saturday(Today)- well well well, here we are (actually, its already sunday by now by my internal clock does not say so)- Feeling a bit out of place and depressed (okay, a LOT!) going into school for the Final Performance, i saw my friends and was immediately cheered up. Isn't it funny how some people can have that effect on you? Still though, the stress of it all and everyone got to me and before the performace started, and through the first scene I was pretty down. @ intermission, something clicked. I had to make this last act @ TMS a good one. My Best. ... and well I think it was... at least I hope so... when we were all getting recognized it felt soo good.... all this hard work has payed off after all. HOORAY FOR THE DRAMA GEEKS! I was very fornuate to recieve the Act award too. It just gave me the extra push to persue theater in the future...I got to talk to my brother and sister too which made it that much more special. Kiplee's again was fun... got ALOT of great pictures, but it was finally time to say goodbye... just to show my outstanding grace, after i almost cried saying bye to brinley i knocked into a huge pole and got the wind out of me... maybe god's way of telling me I shouldn't be so sad....

So here I sit with this new found calmness. I have no idea what to do with it.

"Today I watched the boats
Moving through the harbor
Walking on water
In your arms I'd stay
Forever if I could
Fireer if I may
Keeps me in your thoughts, don't disappear

I am on your side
And so alive
So alive it isn't real

If this is how I feel
Then nothing now is true
And nothing now can ever be taken away from you
Sinking in the past
The things that shouldn't last
Just put to bed and stand beside me
Stand beside me

Always on your side
I'm on your side
And so alive it isn't real

I am on your side
And so alive
And so alive
And so alive

I am on your side
I am on your side
I am on your side
And so alive
So alive"
-Ryan Adams