Pizza for Lunch/ Lost in Yonkers

December.
I think I was somehow delaying to say it, or denying it in my head, but 2007 was not a extremely wonderful year by any means. Oh sure, it had its definite highlights-- a certain greeneyed half Jew and a snowy weekend in March comes to mind-- but it is hard to have a great year overall when when your New Year's Eve celebration pretty much topped it all.
The truth is, this year, I really began living. I realized that the things I've been going through- good and bad- are exactly what I had imagined myself to go through in high school since I was a little tyke watching reruns Saved by the Bell and 90210. I've also realized that these extremely "high school" moments happening to me are not always fun or glamorous. Not always Zach and Kelly or Jessie Spano or Brandon and Brenda Walsch. I've had to deal with a lot of really dumb high school girl things. But I wouldn't take them back for anything. The first two or so years of high school I was sort of stuck waiting for my life to begin. A lot of good things were happening, but happening around me, not happening to me. Now I sit and wonder why school work isn't my top priority and feel bad about myself in the process. But I have other things and other people to live for. I mean, I will never let myself falter too much in school, but I do have a completely awesome, if not hectic, life outside of the classroom.
I feel like I have a hold on things, but what happens when external factors disrupt my balance?? I mean, I know I don't have a lot of real world experience, but picking up and moving to Yonkers, New York to solve the problems you have in Indiana doesn't seem like the right way to go. Some things I just do not understand.
And what about the certain aforementioned half Jew flying half way around the world for seven weeks?? Honestly, what am I supposed to do?? I hold it together fine on a weekly basis when he is 25 minutes away, but seven weeks on separate continents will not sit well on my heart. The summer is our time and I hate to sound like a stupid, weak girl but I can only handle so much! The wierd thing is, I am not sadistically wishing for it not to happen. I just have to let this stupid program for high achieving foreign language students take me where it wants me. Or rather, him. I'll just stay here.

There it is.
The pizza's here.